As I write this, I’ve just burned dinner. I do this often enough that I have a saying: “It’s not burnt. It’s Cajun.”
I confess it’s not a healthy dinner — fish sticks and french fries. The ketchup is organic, though. Does that make a difference?
I’m a 33-year-old wife, mother, business owner and hot mess. I own a successful Internet marketing agency that supports my family, with some help from my husband’s GI Bill (he’s a full-time college student) and Air Force Reserve unit (which could deploy him at any moment).
With so much to juggle, I sometimes feel like a clown with big shoes that keep tripping me, causing me to drop a ball or two every day. Then the guilt sets in.
If I rocked my business that day, chances are I felt like a neglectful mother. If I felt like Super Mom, I likely ignored my business and will have to work twice as hard the next day. I don’t remember the last time I had a night out with my husband, or when the house last was considered “clean.”
Most business owners I know don’t have children; they aren’t married. This seems to allow them to achieve greater success in business.
Then there are mothers who may or may not work. They seem so put together, and so do their kids. Why can’t I be like that?
Should I have worked to achieve business success before having children? Should I give it up to be a better wife and mother? Do men ever feel this way?
Despite feeling inadequate, everything seems to come together. Our kids are happy and healthy. We have an amazing marriage. Bills are paid. Sure, laundry and dishes pile up, but they get done eventually.
As I juggle everything and have it all, I might drop a few balls. I’ve learned to be OK with that. After all, it could be worse — I could be juggling chainsaws.
In talking with other women trying to “do it all,” I’ve learned:
• Perfection doesn’t exist. Don’t approach life with an all-or-nothing attitude.
• Spontaneity is for unattached 20-somethings. Schedule quality time with your family.
• Connect with female entrepreneurs and working moms. Use those connections to network and make friends who understand your lifestyle.
• Embrace the chaos. The Earth will continue to spin while the house is a mess. The business will maintain day-to-day operations if you cancel meetings. Your children will still love you if you miss a soccer game.
• Put the balls down and do something for yourself. They’ll be waiting for you when you return.
Jennifer Kilkenny is director of operations at Total Social Solutions and director of social media at Girls in Tech Las Vegas.